


Birthday

by orphan_account



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Gen, Spoilers, post ep 2x70
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-27 08:57:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19787557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: this is an imagining of what's going on at the Xhorhaus after Yasha was taken... they decide to celebrate Fjord's birthday?





	Birthday

**Author's Note:**

> travis holds Fjord's thoughts so close to the vest, so writing this fic was difficult, but i tried!

If he was being honest with himself, Fjord did not like being the center of attention. He would even go as far as to say he hated it. Unfortunately for him, the Mighty Nein had learned that he had never before celebrated a birthday and they insisted he that rectify that fact immediately.

Now, he was sitting in the dining room of the Xhorhaus, waiting. The Nein had forced Fjord to hole up down there as they ran about the house making preparations. They even had Caduceus outside standing guard. 

If it weren’t for the fact that the absurd party planning seemed to distract his friends from the grim reality of having just lost Yasha, Fjord most definitely would have put his foot down against the party. Unfortunately, they _had_ just lost their barbarian and spirits had been low until “party” and “there will be booze” was mentioned.

As Fjord was held captive in the dining room, he became increasingly more fidgety as the day wore on. Caduceus—gods bless him—was trying to hint at what was to come, as if that would placate Fjord, but it only agitated him more. 

It was difficult to tell what time it was in Rosohna, or how long exactly he’d been waiting, but ideas of escape began to turn in his mind. How would he get past Caduceus? That motherfucker was perceptive. Where would he even go? A small voice in the very, very back of his head whispered Wursh’s shop, but the logical part of his brain shut it down quickly.

Finally, as Fjord was thinking of Possible Escape Plan #29, Caduceus poked his head in and beckoned for Fjord to follow. 

The two made their way up to the second floor to the room they had dubbed the Happy Room. Although he wanted to be able to have a laugh at this whole situation, Fjord couldn’t keep his jaw from dropping ever so slightly. 

The Happy Room, the room they had thrown a few cushions into in the brief time they’d inhabited the Xhorhaus, had been absolutely transformed. Instead of the dusty, dark room they had insisted they would get around to fixing (knowing full well they probably wouldn't), there was a real, livable space that was distinctly designed with Fjord in mind. 

Similar to the globules of Daylight that Jester and Caduceus strung throughout the tree that sat atop their house, there were small orbs of daylight that lined the walls and drifted around the ceiling. There were also a faint sound of waves and a faint scent of seawater that somehow seemed to fill the room. The sensory effects both calmed Fjord and piqued his interest in how a marine _atmosphere_ could be here, in the middle of the Rosohna.

Instead of the sad cushions that they had haphazardly thrown into the room, now there were six chairs—seven—to be fair, that sat around a table. (The seventh chair sat sadly in the corner). The chairs were made of wicker but they resembled thrones like that of the Bright Queen's throne room. Each chair had its own design or unique flair to it—pink and symbol of the Traveler for Jester, one specifically fitted to hold a large flask for Nott—and so on and so forth.

The chair that sat in the center facing the door was decked out in barnacles like the ones on Fjord’s falchion, but they only served to fill in the gaps left by the overwhelming number of seashells, one of the symbols of the Wildmother. 

On the walls, similar to the mural Fjord had seen in passing in Yasha’s room, there was a sprawling mural across the walls. Unlike the field of wildflowers in Yasha’s room, the Happy Room’s walls were covered in different scenes of the ocean. On the left wall, a serene setting sun, on the right, the moon reflecting against murky depths. On the far wall, there was a spirited ocean and in the distance, a ship with the name “Ball-Eater” painted on the side with seven smaller shapes aboard. 

“Well?” Jester asked as she and the rest of the Nein piled into the room behind Fjord. “I know we only had a day but I think we did pretty good.”

Fjord was at a loss for words. How in the hell had they managed to do all of this in one day?

“We weren’t going to get you basic food either,” Beau said. “Nott and I managed to track down some chefs that made us an entire feast. All you gotta do is sit down and relax.”

Fjord let himself be guided to his seat, his friends joining him. With the ring of a bell, people he’d never seen before made their way into the room with steaming platters for the table. They all excitedly dug in. 

* * *

When they had each eaten as much as they possibly could, Caduceus stood, raising his teacup. 

“I would like to begin the round of toasts,” he began. “To our friend Fjord, a good leader and, despite his imperfections, a good man. Happy birthday! To many more.”

The Nein raised their glasses and cheered. 

Nott then stood, using her chair to stand above the table. She raised her flask with both hands. “Fjord, Fjord, Fjord,” she said. “Sometimes I hate you but that’s because you remind me of me. Otherwise, you’re a very handsome man and I’m glad you’re part of this group. Go greens!”

Another cheer.

“Eh, I guess I’m next,” Caleb muttered. He then pulled something, a small wreath with a candle in the center, from down by his feet. He handed it to Fjord. “This is, well, you would not understand it, but it is a Zemnian tradition. It is usually given to children but given that you have never had a birthday before, I figured you can still qualify.”

Fjord thanked him. 

“You are, as Caduceus said, a good man,” Caleb continued. “I have not always trusted you, that has been mutual, but you have shown repeatedly that you are dependable. You are good for this mishmash of people, and you have led us well when the time required. Prost! Cheers!”

“Prost!” Everyone echoed.

Jester stood, a giant grin on her face. “Fjooooord,” she started. “I don’t really know what to say that hasn’t already been said… I mean, Nott said you're handsome, Caduceus said you’re a good leader. I didn’t even get you a present. I guess, just, I hope this is the best day ever for you, and I hope you never go another year without being celebrated. Happy birthday, Fjord.”

She then made her way over and gave him a small peck on the cheek. Fjord promptly felt his ears heat up. 

Finally, Beau stood. 

“I’m—I’m a little drunk,” Beau slurred. “Neverthe—the—less, you are my captain until the end of my days. You got that, Fjord? Til the end of my fucking days! To Captain fucking Tusktooth!”

“To Captain fucking Tusktooth!”

Fjord grabbed onto Beau’s shoulder to steady her as she sat back down. He supposed it was his turn to speak but for someone as charismatic as he was, it was difficult to figure out what he wanted to say to his friends.

When he stood, his friends cheered. He took a moment to drink it in, his happy-drunk friends, the ambiance of the room. His eyes briefly glanced towards the lonely seventh chair tucked into the corner of the room. He then cleared his voice to speak.

“Uhhh, wow, y’all,” he managed. “I didn’t know what I expected as I went stir-crazy earlier today, but it certainly wasn’t this. I um… I never had anything like this before, for real. The effort you put into this, I’m just amazed.” His eyes drifted again. “I know you said I was a good leader and all, and I thank you, truly… but a good leader doesn’t leave a soldier behind.”

Silence blanketed the room and all that could be heard was the faint sound of waves crashing. 

“We did everything we could, Fjord,” Caduceus said softly. “ _You_ did everything you could.” 

Beau, who had been drinking harder liquor than Fjord had slid her tankard in front of him. He took a long swig and sat down.

“I wonder whether Yasha ever had a birthday party?” Jester asked quietly. 

“Probably not,” Caleb answered. “I wouldn’t know what life in the wastes of Xhorhas is like, but I don’t imagine birthday parties being part of the culture.”

“I know we don’t know whether our Yasha is still in there,” Nott whispered, “or whether our Yasha was fake all along, but I wish she were here to celebrate. We could have done a two-for-one.”

Nobody said anything for a moment. Then Caleb stood, crossed the room, grabbed the seventh chair, and added it to the circle. 

“Whoever she is now,” Caleb explained, “this is not for her. This is for the Yasha we knew, for _our_ Yasha.”

Jester raised her glass. “For our Yasha.”

Caduceus echoed the toast. Nott followed shortly after.

“I don’t know that she was ever _ours_ ,” Beau murmured, “but, to the Yasha we thought we knew.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Fjord muttered.

* * *

When dinner was cleaned up, Jester, Caduceus, and Nott retired to their respective rooms after offering Fjord one last “Happy Birthday.” Now, only Fjord, Beau, and Caleb remained.

After some silence passed, Beau spoke. “Hey, Fjord, what the _fuck_ are we gonna do?”

Fjord shook his head. He had his answers, but even he didn’t really believe in them. 

“You two,” Fjord said, “the whole group really, you look to me as a leader but I’m just as lost as any of y’all. If anything, you two are the leaders of this group.”

The Empire Kids exchanged glances and sighed as if they’d previously had similar conversations.

“We could argue about this all day, Fjord,” Caleb said. “The bottom line is we’re all drowning but we’re holding each other up just long enough so that the other can get air.”

Both Fjord and Beau squinted their eyes at him. 

“Is now really the time to get fucking profound, Caleb?” Beau asked.

“It’s Fjord’s birthday, Beauregard. So yes.”

More silence passed between the three of them.

“I mentioned it earlier,” Fjord said, “but really, thank you for doing all this.” He gestured vaguely at the room. “It means more than I could ever put into words.”

Beau clapped him on the back. “We may not know how to stop a war... or how to save our friend, but we do know how to party.”

Reluctant grins were shared all around, Caleb included.

Some time passed as the three of them sat together while simultaneously being in different headspaces. Eventually, Caleb bit them goodnight and Beau was not far behind. Fjord was once again alone with his thoughts.

As he sat there, dozing ever so slightly, he felt a familiar warmth in his chest where cold used to be. He let himself relax into it.

_Fjord,_ a warm, matronly voice whispered. _I cannot hold him at bay for much longer._

_It’s okay,_ he thought. _Thank you for doing all that you could._

_Sleep soundly tonight, child. Many crossroads await you in the coming days. For now, rest._

With those whispered words lulling him into unconsciousness, he fell asleep where he sat, among friends and the sound of rolling waves.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!


End file.
